she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
