how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
its liver damage thursday
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
