Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
