You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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