the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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