If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
