So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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