Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
