Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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