Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
