So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
