Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
