I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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