if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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