hell yes lets make some ravioli
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like death gave me a hand job
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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