if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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