idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
