I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
