Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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