I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
