i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
