suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
