i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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