did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
