a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
