that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
