last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
