erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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