You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
