i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
