yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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