Just fell off a train. Bad.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
