If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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