Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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