"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
