These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
