I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
