I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Soap is not a condiment
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
pray to the hookup gods
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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