How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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