it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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