It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
