gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
