I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
