carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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