you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
