so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
