"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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