i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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