I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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