That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
